Dainna Cicotello

 Dainna was a long time local and national activist for trans rights and was an amazing speaker and trainer. She was also a wife, mother, veteran, friend.

In the 80s and 90s Dainna was one of a handful of people who created the modern definition of the word “transgender”. She was not afraid to speak out against inequality locally and nationally and in 2002 appeared on the Montelle Williams show with her daughter, Laurie, where they talked about the relationship between daughter and parent as Dainna transitioned in 1985 from male to female.

Dainna would often share about being a legally married same-sex couple long before same-sex marriage became law because she and her wife, Mary, remained married after Dainna’s transition. They renewed their wedding vows on their 46th anniversary! From Dainna’s research, they were the first couple in America to stay married through the transition of one partner. Their marriage paved the way to marriage equality in Colorado and Hawai’i.

One of my fondest memories of Dainna was when, during SPED trainings, she would facilitate the Folding Arms experiential exercise, which creates in participants a physically aching experience of what it is like to hide a part of oneself. The way she facilitated this training was so impactful, and she did it with such empathy and feeling. Dainna died in 2018 at the age of 70 after leaving a legacy of activism, truth-telling and change-making. 

Being an ally to the trans community is one way I honor Dainna, her family, and my SPED colleagues.  You are missed and loved Dainna. Rest in Peace my friend.